Mental Health: Explained in real time. Here is our story

Mental Madness: Silent But Deadly

Have you ever felt? Not physically like when no one is around, but even when people are around? Ive endured the haunting silence but at the same time unbearable noise of deprsseion and mental health. I went through a sitaution that even until this day bothers me on a daily basis and heres a peak my story. Ill spare certain details and will not to go into details but i was diagnosed with Post Trumatic Stress Disorder. Ive dealt with the cutting edge of the streets to the city of japan and having to adapt to another way of living.

Moving to Japan : Freshman Year

My father left me and family at a young age , so eventually my mother remarried to my step-father. My step-father is a retired vet in the Navy, and my 8th grade year they told me and my brother that we were moving to Japan. As a little kid you dont understand the stress thatis coming in the near future. So when we actually moved it was so hard to try to fit in somewhere i dont understand. i couldnt speak the language at first and when i branched out for help everyone told me try harder. I really just felt trapped and alone, i felt like i was suffocating because i couldnt read anything, so i kind of starting going down the rabbit hole, and ended up doing things that was out of my character. Along the way of doing that i got into alot of trouble and i got kicked off the base. they took me from the only comfortable and constantn in my life, and thats my Mother. Btw i couldnt stay off the base because we didnt have the resouces nor did we know anyone to take me in. So 16 years old being sent to Boston with a family i never met was beyond traumatically damaging to the mental state of a 16 year old black boy in the world. Just keep going and never gave up on yourself because your the only that can change your life. Anything that calms you or soothes you and makes you feel better. Focus on that like for me, Music is everything to me. I make music to mend the debri in my life and the baggage i contiune to carry, and i hope my story can help someone with their mental peace!

The Dreamer

Born in Pakistan, forced to move to the USA for the sake of my brother, we arrived in this country in 2002. My parents left everything behind to give my brother a fighting chance. He was born with an extremely rare skin disease called, Icthysosis Lamellar. A condition in which his skin grows and dies at a rate that can be lethal. Unable to sweat, he was super susceptible to overheating, and at the time the medical facilities available in Pakistan couldnt facilitate him properly. Around 2005-2006 my father recieved bad legal advice when he had overstayed his visa, put himself on a registry and ever since then his status in this country has been "voluntary deportation." It was the start of a never-ending battle. Our legal staus has to be renewed every year now. Since then my dad has been in and out of jobs, he worked his was up to a corporate job just for it to be taken away, because of his status. The reality of our situation in this country never really set in for me until it was time for me to graduate, My senior year my work authorization card had an error on it, rendering it useless, I sent it back to get it fixed, and realized during my appplication process that i wouldnt even get in-state tuition at some colleges. I got no financial aid at all, because our legal status didnt allow to be eligible for any state/federal aid. Even grants and scholarships I was never eligible for. My senior year, my grades dropped horribly. To the point I almost didnt graduate. It felt like nothing mattered. Any effort i made would just be in vain. After graduation, I fully realized how alone i was aswell, and from there it was a downward spiral. I didnt ever expereince emotions. My parents never let me. Anytime I was sad or cried as a kid I was told to toughen up, just sweep it under the rug and forget about it, and so i did. Until one day it just all came out. I didnt know what i was experiencing, I didnt know who to talk too. I had to learn how to walk again, in a way. I just became angry. At everyone and everything. It felt so unfair. We lived here for 17 years at that point. I couldnt even travel outside the country. My mom was denied access to leave the country to visit her sick mother, and had to watch her funeral over skype. Long story short, the last time there was any immigration reform was 1986. Its been far too long, and its an issue in this country that effects hundreds of thousands of kids and families. Here are some resources you can use to educate yourself on immigration reform, and resources to help.

Can music fix the Problem of Mental health

Music is life no matter what you listen to, its and outlet to life there a song for anything your going through I remeber listening Git,Up and Get out by Outkast in highschool, it open my eyes and made me think i need to keep moving. One thing about music it can change your way to think they always throw little hints in there songs to get the ball rolling this is just one way to fix your Mealth Health Another way to is to write music put you feelings on the paper,writing music is an out let to let you express it help me to write down what i was thinking but put it in a way where is can rhyme make better sense of the whats going on.

how long can one survive off of survival mode?

mental health has always been something that's been said to be important but is it actually? I've been diagonised with depression and aniexty since the 4th grade yet not much has been done since that diagnois. I've been in survival mode doing what i know how to combat what my brain tells and wants me to do. With abuse plaguing my life for generations what does one do when there is nowhere to go but in? inside oneself where it's safe and controlled. The mind is a powerful beautiful yet dangerous place that if used effectively can aide your life but soon that survival mode turns into a hinderance. The path of mental health has been one of much anger and anoyance. Having been in therapy since Kindergarden for Anger i've grown to hate the act of therapy for myself. Although i do believe in therapy for others. I believe in the psychology of the mind and the study of it i just dont believe that my mind is applicable to what has been published. My story, my struggles, my life and the way ive managed to keep it all together without a successful (this could be a trigger owrd) attempt is a wonder to even me. So mental health? I have no idea how to get to the other side i only know how to survive.

Attempt Help Brain on Survival Mode

what are the steps to move forward...

Mental health being such a small topic within the black community, While also being such a huge topic at the same time. Somthing that is often over looked but never brought up during the times in need. Me growing up within a toxic envoirment surrounded by gang violence, there were many times where I didn't know who to talk to or where I could go to be involved in areas that I thought were fun to me. There is very low support to those who speak up on mental health or even worst made fun of by being so called "soft". Growing up through trial and error finding freinds or family members who may have been going through the same issues was intresting.Sadly some of those family members are no longer with me, It's sad to see it takes such a tragic incident for people of our community to come together and support one another when in need. I think it is important for those within our community to build spaces where we can come together and support on anther while also finding outlets that relive stress in the time being.